I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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