Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
