1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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