you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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