Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there's paper in my vomit.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
