you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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