tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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