idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
