OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
