I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize