all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
