I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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