My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
