Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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