So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
