She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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