I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
