i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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