I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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