I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
