would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
