Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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