I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Someone signed my nipple.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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