Got a toothbrush?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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