You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Two words: nipple clamps
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