new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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