yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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