He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize