She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
