I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
