we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize