walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she smelled like a LAN party
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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