I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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