she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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