haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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