Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
