Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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