he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
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someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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