If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I accidentally had phone sex last night
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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