I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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