Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
