Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize