Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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