So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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