I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
