hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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