I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
