I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
