What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
