Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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