so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
