Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
