I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
