Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
