Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
