You can't motorboat a personality
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
