see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize