so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
