bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
