she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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