Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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