i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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