he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
