chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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