this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
