I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
