She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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