hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
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Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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