Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I could make wine with my vomit
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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