ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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