How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
